breakfast

Cooking On The Norfolk Broads

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How To make Dinner without Blowing The Bloody Boat Up.

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Breakfast

I must admit that breakfast is one of my favorite meals when I'm on a boat. Waking up at dawn to hear the water gently lapping against the hull, the sun streaming in through the port hole, the sound of the ducks quacking as they drift past the boat. The gentle snores of your boat mates in their slumber

It's also 6 am and bloody cold, and damp. So the first order of the day is get get the heater going. After wearing out your thumb trying to get the igniter to fire up you dig out the matches. After going through a whole box of Swan Vestas you remember that the gas is turned off at the bottle!

So the heater is going, warming up the whole boat - if only ! At this point I've turned on all of the burners on the stove and and the oven - after awhile things start to warm up. So get the kettle on. If your attempts to the light the heater have not woken everyone up the sound of the water pump kicking in might do the job.

Everyone has their own preference for breakfast. Personally I prefer a full blown artery hardening English breakfast. A bowl of potpourri with half a glass of skimmed milk is for wimps.

The only problem with a full breakfast is the number of items to cook, divided by the number of frying pans, and saucepans that you have divided by the size of the stove. - This is probably going to be a bad sum. But no problem.

All you will need is :-

• One frying pan
• One Saucepan
• One baking dish - or foil baking tray - 9" x 13"
• Foil
• Lard
• Eggs
• Bacon
• Sausages
• Tomatoes
• Mushrooms
• Left Over New Potatoes
• Baked Beans
• Bread

I'm going to assume that the boat has warmed up now, that the ducks are still quacking - and some sod is snoring his head off, and that the kettle has boiled. So at least you can have a cup of tea while you set about making breakfast.

Turn the oven down to low and put the baking tray in there to warm up. Beans in the saucepan, and lard in the frying pan. Once the beans have warmed up you can put some foil over the saucepan (because you will never be able to find a lid that fits!) or put a plate on top, and stick that in the oven. You want the oven to be about 200 degrees (F), just warm. I have been known to leave my deck shoes in the oven after it has been turned off to dry them out. I would recommend only doing this when sober, as melting your only pair of deck shoes can be a problem. Also if you are not the next person to use the oven they might get a bit of a surprise.

You need to start cooking the larger items first, the tomatoes and sausages. With luck you can get both in the same frying pan. For the Tomatoes I cut them in half and cook the cut side first (if you are stuck for space, quarter them). This puts a seal on and helps to keep the juices in, don't burn the cut side just get it a bit brown then flip them over.

When the sausages are done place them in the baking dish in the warm oven and put some foil over the pan.

By this time you will probably have had numerous requests for tea, coffee. Bloody Mary's, Asprin etc. This is why I make sure that the kettle, tea pot, milk, sugar, cereal etc. is as far away from the galley as possible. This way if you have been unable to tune out the requests for a drink you can politely explain that you are cooking breakfast and can't reach the tea - so get and up get your own. The snoring will rise to level of a 747 taking off. Also the ducks that have been drifting past are now all starting to gather around the boat, like waterborne vultures.

Anyway the sausages are in the oven add the bacon and throw the mushrooms up top, once the bacon is done add them to the baking dish and finish off the tomatoes and mushrooms - don't overcook the mushrooms as they will go rather soggy. Put the tomatoes and mushrooms in the baking pan.

If you have left over potatoes from last nights dinner then now is a good time to cook them - you did keep some didn't you ?

If necessary add more lard to the pan and fry some bread. Just do one side ! and as each piece is cooked put them in the baking pan - on top of the items that are already in there. This adds another layer of insulation, and helps to keep everything from getting too cold when you take the pan out.

Why will you be taking the pan out ? well there will always be someone who wants toast and the grill is in the oven !

At this point you've now spent anywhere between 30 minutes to three quarters of an hour cooking breakfast, the snoring is getting worse and those bloody ducks won't stop quacking! - but the hard part is just about to start - the eggs.....

Living in the States I'm used to having to ask folks how they want their eggs (over easy, sunny side up etc) - I've found that on boat trips people will taken them just about anyway they can get them, but if they are particular then read on .

Fried Eggs

Perfect fried eggs are very easy, and I prefer to use butter rather than lard, but I've got a frying pan with lots of burnt bits and grease, so no butter ! crack the eggs into a cup rather than the pan, this reduces the chances of breaking the yolk and of getting splattered with hot fat. By the way don't have too high of a flame under the pan. Once the eggs have started to go slightly white season the eggs (I just use salt) then add a small amount of water to the pan (about a tablespoon) and cover the saucepan with something - (a lid, foil, big plate) this will keep the steam in and allow the tops of the eggs to cook without having to flip the egg over which usually means a broken yolk! Also the eggs cook much more quickly. As I'm doing this I've set the table along with the baking dish. This way I can just put the eggs on the plates and pass them over so that people can help themselves to the rest of the stuff.

Scrambled Eggs

I love scrambled eggs - I also hate to clean pans, especially on a boat. So here's the trick.

Put a saucepan on a low flame and put in about two tablespoons of butter and melt - remember a low flame ! then add about 1/4 cup of milk - stir crack four eggs into the pan and stir to break the eggs. Season (white pepper is better than black) to taste. Keep on stirring to stop the eggs sticking to the bottom and in about the time it takes to smoke a cigarette you will have perfect light and fluffy eggs, and if you've been stirring well enough no one will notice the cigarette ash that has dropped in to the pan.

Boiled Eggs

Put eggs in a large pot, in a single layer and cover with COLD water. Turn on the heat under the eggs and as soon as they come to a full boil let the water boil for ten seconds NO LONGER, remove the pan from the heat (cover) and let them sit in the hot water for one minute - and you should have a perfect soft boiled egg. BUT hard boiled eggs are great for snacks and salads so just leave some eggs in the pan about 15-20 minutes. Then put them into cold water immediately, once they have cooled put them in the fridge or ice box - this way you won't have gray yolks.

Golden Rules

He who cooks breakfast ends up eating last. This might not be a bad thing as those finishing first might clean the pots and pans for you - ok - fat chance.

You may have noticed that the sink on your boat doesn't have a waste disposal system. Remember those bloody ducks - these floating rats will eat just about anything.

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